The great, big, Swine flu hype!

The past week has the media abuzz with only one ‘news’ – Swine flu!

Such is the panic caused by the wide spread hype, that schools and multiplexes were shut down for 3 days in Bombay and for a month in Pune! Masks – N 95 or any other – are being sold at 5-8 times their retail value. A day before the Janmastami festival (birth celebrition of Lord Shri Krishna) takes place, there were orders to cancel the festivities as the festival would mean wide spread gathering of people in large groups. The Municipal corp. told mall owners to reduce the hype around the 15th August Independence sales in an effort to curb people visiting the malls in large numbers!

But how was the cry for downing shutters really effective?

The students stayed away from colleges and schools. But for the Malls and shops, it was business as usual. A few shop owners claimed they did not get the memo from the BMC…. (hello, didn’t you read the newspapers??)

With the price monies on dahihandis ranging from Rs. 15,00,000 to Rs. 60,00,000, how can the govindas resist the urge to make money?? They made most of the bandh in Bombay and were seen running rampant in the city! No sir, the swine flu did not stop them! So then, why the hype??

So far, about 25 (approx.) people have succumbed to the flu virus in India. Why is that so alarming? A doctor claimed that according to National Stats, 22 people die of Tuberculosis EVERY DAY in the country! Why then is Swine flu being propogated by the media as if its the No.1 killer in the country?

Truth is – Swine flu is deadly… there is no doubt about it. But it can be prevented and IT CAN BE CURED just by observing normal hygiene like washing your hands frequently and by going to the doctor in case you feel feverish or you develop flu like symptoms. One has to take the same precautions that one would take for preventing ordinary flu.

1) wash hands often 2) cough/sneeze into a tissue or use the sleeve of your clothing (between the elbow and shoulder) to cover your mouth 3) eat fruits and drink plenty of water 4) Do not take medication unless prescribed by the doctor 5) If you start taking the meds, complete the entire course of medication

Other than the above precautions, I think its life as usual for Bombaites! There is no need to shut down the city and stay holed in your home, although shutting the city will lead to other benefits, like lower vehicular emmissions and less traffic congestion on the streets! If rumors are to be believed, the travel between Bombay and Pune had dropped to 30% and one does not need to book tickets in advance to catch a bus ride to Pune! Now, that the positive effect of the Swine flu virus and how it played its part in curbing global warming!

And last but not the least, dont forget that the human body has something called Immunity! It can not only help in fighting the virus but also prevent the virus from infecting the person!

Happy Independence Day to all fellow Indians!

I wish the Indian media would grow-up and be more responsible in their print, instead of blowing stories out of proportion and turning every piece of news into a ‘breaking news’!

The Journeys: Part deux

Day one had me reporting to office. As I was not familiar with the parking situation, I decided to take the bike. Now I’ll be the first one to tell you that I don’t particularly like 2 wheels! I know, the girls find it macho n sexy, but some things are just not meant to be. Period! Dad offered to drive me half way after which I would ride the rest of the distance and pick him up on the way back. Since he would be driving the traffic laden half, I mustered enough courage to take the 2 wheeled bike the rest of the way.

Now, for those who are not familiar with the Indian traffic conditions, should see this sped up video of a traffic intersection. The traffic situation in Bombay is about half as bad… couple this with the no-so-friendly-bike and my disdain of 2-wheelers, its not the best mix.

The drive started well and I was doing great. Then I had to brake and all hell broke loose.

As soon as I hit the brakes, the 2-wheeler engine turned off. I managed to turn it back on and was on my way again and I had to brake once more… this was not going well!

After stalling it 3 more times, I called dad who proudly exclaimed “the idling of the engine is set low to conserve fuel at traffic lights ***. Just give it some gas while braking and u should be fine.”

Me: (thinking) Give it gas while braking? That would get me killed????

*** (we live in a city and traffic lights are a-plenty)

I parked the 2-wheeler in the nearest by-lane, proudly shamelessly hopped into a running double decker bus and was on my merry way City biking is not for me! At least not now! (for the curious cats, the 2-wheeler in question was a Honda Activa. Its a moped! not even geared…. I too know its pathetic!)

In my defense, I did take ride the cursed thing to visit an uncle after work and also picked up my dad on my way back.

And then it rained! Continuously for 24 hours! Sometimes heavy, sometimes a light drizzle..

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perfect time to grab hot vadas with red-chilly-garlic-chutney! No sooner did I mouth

the words to my sis, mom interjected “I’ve already made them!” I kid you not, she can read minds!

Me: (while hogging on tasty hot vadas [an Indian delicacy savoured during the rains]) Mom, stop making all this oily food… you are making me fat. I had a 6-pack and its disappearing…

Mom: I don’t like 6-packs. Shah Rukh (an Indian actor) got one and it made him look old. His cheeks are sunk in his face and his skin has become all flabby.

Me: (cannot argue with that logic!)

Freedom of traffic…!

A town in Germany removed all traffic rules and guess what! The number of accidents plummeted from one-a-week to zilch!

Reason? Not having to look at signs and signals, people are paying more attention to the road and to other things on it! Funny, isn’t it!

The town now has two general laws in place – a speed limit of 30 MPH and yield to the right. And the Govt. saves 5,000 pounds a month in traffic sign repair bills.

I cannot imagine what will happen if this were done in Bombay or Bangalore… any guesses?

Roadies – not the show!

U know how the bikers try to squeeze into any available space on the road. Well, one of them tried to squeeze in front of the swift and royally nudged the bumper. The guy looks at me in the eye, looks at the bumper and does not even apologise! Such incidents are a common occurrence in every city of India, and in many places, they are also accepted. but not in Bombay! And certainly not when the guy does not even apologise! Several maneuvers later, his bike is at 90 degrees to the direction of the traffic and smack in between a cab (ahead) and the Swift!

I got pissed. Had every right to. I thought, well, the bumper is screwed, why not fuck him up a little and teach him a valuable lesson.

I put the car in gear and drove it a few inches ahead. The pillion rider looks up and hits the hood of the car – as if I didn’t know what I was doing. Bugger now had his finger print on my car too!

I get encouraged by the banging and moved ahead a bit more and rev up the engine for special effect. That did the trick. Now the pillion rider gets scared and moves both his legs to the other side of the bike. The guy driving the bike gets off his vehicle and comes up to me.

I said “Well, it looks like now I have your attention. Next time don’t squeeze in front of cars and drive with some dignity. And don’t forget to say sorry if you scratch some one else’s car. You can go now”.

The bugger went away without uttering a word. At least he did one thing right! I got out and guess what? Not a scratch on the bumper. Apparently they must use good paint at Maruti, huh!

If only everyone drove with just a little common sense, there would be at least 1/4th less traffic-jams on the street!

This post is also a comment on this post! It is during times like this that I wish I had wings! But then I look at the population and think, there would be a jam up there too!