Wanted (2009), Dil Bole Hadipaa (2009)

Wanted – The preview, where Sallu kicks up a table with an assortment of things on it, and then selects which item to kick on the baddie – was scary! No, it did not inspire fear, but it made the mind numb… Oh my God!! Kya shot hai…. Pop! There goes my brain!

Sallu who danced so well in No Entry, was reduced to doing  idotic and vulgar pelvic thrusts in the movie! While these steps are a hit in Tollywood, they didnt look fly in bollywood… It reduced him to an ape who was mimicking what was being shown to him… Not suave and smooth at all! Too much movement, no finesse!

4 stars for this piece of crap .. ha ha ha ha ha.. how much was paid for these reviews Sallu bhai? Movie did well coz of the timing of its release during Navratri and Eid….

Ayesha Takia breaks her way into being reduced to a screaming, crying, voluptuous bimbo, for her role required little acting skills… Just a tight top to show off the plump chest! The face required some acting to milk its Oomph, so Sallu bhai asks her to take out her tongue and puts his hands in her mouth to teach her to whistle… And then the bimbo grabs his fingers and holds them lustily in between her teeth while keeping a thoroughly innocent expression! Whew! Thanks to the censors for giving it an A!

The action was atrocious, yet satisfying… Given that I like violent movies, the spray of blood from the baddie’s mouth as Sallu kicks him was a nice touch. Great imagination (or inspiration from various hollywood movies – makes me wonder why didnt someone patent that blood spray shot! Imagine the royalty wealth he could have amassed from such a patent!)

Story was totally unimaginative and more twist than the curls in Maggi noodles! If the movie was a building, it had a 1970’s structure (story) coated in 2009 Asian Paints colours (action)! It reeked of innumerable Amitabh Bachchan movies. In fact, one can easily replace Sallu with Amitabh, Ayesha with Zeenat/Parveen, The baddie with Shakti Kapoor and viola! You have an Amitabh movie from 1970 with an equally mind-numbing story with contemporary action scenes and vulgar pelvic thrusts dance moves famous in South Indian cinema!! It even has a rape scene with the commissioner’s daughter in it! Perhaps Prabhudeva had not seen “Taken”, else he could have had the tough talking Police Commissioner taking to the streets in a hunt for his daughter! HA!

The humor is atrocious and UN-wanted! No connection to the story at all…. Fail to see humor in a fat guy trying to woo Ayesha and her making fun of him! Also fail to see another roly-poly fellow interacting with an inspector who are chasing a robber and the fattie giving maa-behen ki gaalis (Mother-Sister Bad-words) to the inspector at the behest of the robber! Wonder how the censors passed this piece of crap for humor and how come the Police didnt object to it! Thoroughly insulting to the cops! It was almost as if the director forgot to introduce humor in the movie and then when some people queued up outside his office and expressed their desire to be in the movie that he choose to give them these comic roles!

4 stars? My ass! This gets 2 stars out of 5! How can the (so called) critics dish out 4 stars for this after they have watched Kaminey in the same year? Were they brain dead? Or did their brains really get fried with that “pop” I heard while watching the previews??!

Dil Bole Haddipaa : Touted as a comeback vehicle for Rani Mukherji, DBH sees her getting paired with the HOT Shahid Kapoor! If Ayesha looks like Sallu’s daughter in Wanted, Rani looks like Shahid’s Aunty in DBH… Fortunately she can still act, but in DBH, rani goes overboard while trying to please…

The scenes in the movie are raw and feel chopped! The dance steps are good and will be copied by many… The nautanki scenes were also done good… This is a family movie with Cricket as its backdrop… However, the level of cricket shown in the movie is equal to gulli cricket and the movie fails to utilise the sport the way it was used in Lagaan! It also cashes in on Shahid’s recent success after Kaminey… He was wasted in DBH.

Fun fact: I was confused to find Sherlyn’s looks getting changed in the movie and kept wondering why…. It was at the end that I realised Rakhi was also in the movie! Between the three of them, they managed to have an average cup size of C!

Dil bole haddipaa? Naaa… Dil maange a better movie!! 1.5/5